


my lungs, a garden

by randomactsofpastel (moonboyblues)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hanahaki Disease, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Smoking, very short chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 4,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23201035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonboyblues/pseuds/randomactsofpastel
Summary: Tsukishima tries not to think about the flowers that are growing in his lungs. Especially not about the one causing it.Alternatively,A KuroTsuki Hanahaki Disease!au in very, very short chapters.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 19
Kudos: 146





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this as an au for roleplaying out of a whim, but then it turned out... decent, i guess? so why not share it to the world, krtsk is always worth it to share #moreloveforthisship

Kei had no vices and bad habits. Emphasis on 𝘩𝘢𝘥. Kei, apparently, smokes now.

He never planned to, nor did he ever wish to try. But he was getting anxious a lot lately; surprisingly, smoking had helped calm him down. It started from a supposedly quick draft out of curiosity, when an upperclassman offered him a stick at some rambunctious college party one Friday night. Like the ashes the smoldering cancer stick left, the anxiety that was clawing at Kei's chest was quelled as well.

The cause of that anxiety, of course, is the reason why he starts smoking frequently.

As if on cue, said cause is strutting down the path with his friends. Obnoxious laughter filled the air, so loud that Kei could hear even if he was at least a few miles away and up on a building's third floor. He sighed, pulling out a box of cigarettes he had bought just three days ago.

Out of 20, only nine sticks remained. He really should try seeing less of that annoying tuff of way too messy, dark hair.

The bearer of that annoying hair, however, turned and met his eyes.

Kei lights the cigarette as he glanced away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i say short, i mean it. very short chapters lmao

“Stop smoking.”

Kei knew, as a sign of respect, that he shouldn't roll his eyes. He did anyway.

As a response, the older took the cigarette away from his lips and placed it on his own. Before Kei could protest, the brusque man reached from behind him and took his box of cigarettes. Maybe his touch lingered; maybe it was just Kei's imagination. Kei watched as the other took a new stick and placed it upon his lips. The older leans his face closer, lighting the end of Kei's cigarette with his own.

“Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsurou.” He introduced with a smirk that could be likened to that of the Cheshire cat's.

_Tch._ As if Kei didn't already know.

Kei did not give him the satisfaction of providing a response, which urged Kuroo to talk more. “We met at training camp three years ago?”

Again. As if Kei didn't already _know._

Kuroo watched him as he remained silent, his drooping eyelids giving off an uninterested image but Kei knew for sure he was scrutinizing his every detail. Kei could never forget the way Kuroo studies people—intense, yet unnoticeable if you didn't know him well.

“I have to go.” Kei spoke for the first time to him that evening.

The elder’s lips curled up in a slight grin, leaning off of Kei and stuffing his hands in his pockets. Kei took that as a sign to leave, and was a good few meters away when Kuroo speaks again.

“Stop smoking. I mean it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos are appreciated! let me hear your thoughts too. come scream w me about hq on twt!! @snagglethot


	3. Chapter 3

Now that Kei had stopped smoking, he had nothing to do but fiddle with his fingers whenever he felt anxious.

It's that annoying man's fault. Kei doesn't even know why he listened to him.

He shouldn't. There are a lot of things he shouldn't do. He shouldn't see Kuroo. He shouldn't think about Kuroo. He shouldn't seek Kuroo in a crowd. He shouldn't be letting old, buried feelings rise up once more.

Kei increased the volume of the music his phone was playing. He doesn't even know what the song was; all he wanted was to drown out any arising thoughts of Kuroo. Any of the memories from the third gym three years ago he had tried to forget. Because what's in the past should remain in the past.

His heart had other plans, and betrays him once more.

It was Kuroo's fault for being... _Kuroo_. Kei always sees him. Kei always thinks about him. Kei always seek him out of the crowd. Kei lets old, buried feelings rise up once more.

That day, when he saw Kuroo in the hallway with a smile thrown his direction—Kei succumbs to the feelings of the past once more.

That day, as well, was when Kei coughed up the first petal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lord give me strength to write an iwaoi fic bCS IWAOI


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wish the speed i update is the same as the speed i'd use on my homeworks

One petal became three within a day. The next day, he coughs up two more, with blood on them this time.

Kei was afraid.

That was the understatement of the year. Kei knew how fucked he was. First, he has to deal with his stupid feelings for Kuroo. Now, he has to suffer for it physically as well? Whose good idea was it to have fucking flowers growing in your lungs for unrequited love? _As if unrequited love wasn't already miserable as it is._

He tries to hide this fact, but it meant that he had to avoid certain people. One of which was his best friend, Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi, however, as observant as he was, noticed it and confronted him on the day he coughed up a handful of petals.

“Tsukki, what is that? Is that—”

Before Yamaguchi finishes whatever he had to say, a stream of hot tears invaded Kei's cheeks. Pathetic. It was humiliating to be seen like this—so weak and vulnerable for something as cheesy as love. He awaited Yamaguchi's tone of concern. Instead, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Is this someone I know?” Yamaguchi asked, his face passive and his tone neutral. Kei nodded, avoiding his eyes as he headed toward the sink to wash off the blood from his palms and his mouth.

He listened to Yamaguchi hum in thought, drying off his hands with paper towels as he let out a deep sigh. “I never wanted this to happen.” The words itself felt weak as it tumbled off Kei's lips. But he did not need to elaborate.

“I know.” Yamaguchi, his voice finally with colors but not that of pity, consoled. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what are your 3 main ships in hq??? mine would be kurotsuki, iwaoi, and kagehina. my ships r all mainstream but pls lemme be gay in peace lOL


	5. Chapter 5

Kei chose the wrong day to go to the gym today. He didn't even play volleyball anymore. Not officially, at least. To “lift his spirits up”, Yamaguchi had invited him to play 3 on 3 with supposedly old friends.

Old friends, indeed. Despite being at a different university, Kageyama and Hinata were apparently available to hold the grand reunion of the Power First Years (or what Hinata likes to believe so). Hinata being Hinata, as well, happened to invite over that silent former setter from Nekoma (Kenji? Katou? Ah, _Kenma_.)

The mention of Nekoma should have been an obvious red flag for Kei.

His realization hit a little too late when he already met the eyes of the cause of the flowers in his lungs.

As if the universe was mocking him, he felt his throat itch. His chest suddenly felt tight; it felt like any moment now, the veins of the stupid plant would crawl out of his ribs and rip apart his chest, begging to see the light of the day.

 _Breathe_. Kei wanted to breathe. Did the air suddenly cease to exist in his lungs?

“Tsukki.” Kuroo laid a hand on his shoulder, his eyes were undecipherable as usual but his voice was enough to give him away. _Worry_. Kei felt Kuroo's voice like a hand extended out to him, helping him up from drowning.

Kei remembered how to 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦. “K-Kuroo-san.”

His name felt so foreign yet so horrifyingly intimate as he rolled it out from his tongue.

He saw the quick flash of a smile on Kuroo's lips before it disappeared. “It has been long since we played together. Let's go?”

Kei gave him a brief nod, his chest still aching but it was a lot fainter this time.

It may have been just been a hallucination, but Kei heard Kuroo mutter something else right after.

“I knew you remember me.”

_How could Kei not?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gotta love kurotsuki


	6. Chapter 6

Kei was digging his own grave, but he doesn't acknowledge it.

Not when Kuroo looks at him like that.

They meet more often after the 3 vs. 3 (Kuroo, Kenma, and Hinata won, but only because Kei was out of practice and obviously distracted). It was just practice at first. Kuroo was in the university's volleyball team, but Kei wasn't, and he's not really sure what the practices were for even. Yet Kei doesn't want to complain.

Practices became having lunch together. Some lunches led to cutting classes to go to lay down at the open field and stare at the bright afternoon sky or biking around the campus. Then, in only a short stretch of time, they even started to go home together. Kuroo always walked him back to his dorm, and Kei was still in no mood to complain.

Because Kuroo's normally placid face breaks into one of that teasing, playful faces he has shown only to people he felt comfortable with. He laughs more freely, talks in the speed of light, and sometimes brushes his hand against Kei when they walk home.

And maybe, just maybe, the reason why Kei doesn't complain is because he's hoping.

 _Hope_. Hope is scary. Hope isn't right.

But hope stops the dull ache in his chest and the flowers seemed to have had vanish from his lungs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, seeing krtsk edits: my loves, my babies, my eVERYTHING  
> me, seeing iwaoi amvs: the otp that will rOCK MY WORDL  
> me, seeing the latest episode of haikyuu s4: kagehina is so canon iM CRYING (consciously eyes atsumu)
> 
> where does my loyalty lie? stay tuned


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is nsfw. feel free to skip if it ain't your cup of tea!

_Wrong._

Kei felt the heat spread over his skin. His hand roamed down the sliver of skin exposed as his shirt rode up, his hand slipping past the waist band of his pants and ventured into his boxers . A small gasp escaped his lips as his palm made contact with his growing erection.

_Wrong._

He tried to convince himself that it was only natural. That it had been a long time since he had gotten any alone time. With Yamaguchi in the same dorm room, there was no private time for either of them. It all built up tension and frustration, that was all.

_Wrong._

The wall was cool against his forehead as he leaned forward. A stuttering moan broke through the sounds of the heater humming as he wrapped himself around his long, slender fingers. With thoughts crashing through his mind, he picked up a frisky pace to make a diversion. No need for such thoughts of _him_. What Kei was doing was wrong already. His movements became desperate and jerky as he neared his finish. 

_Wrong._

_Only natural_ , he told himself again. It was because he didn’t have time. It wasn’t because he was thinking of that slightly crooked grin. It wasn’t because the idea of big, rough palms exploring his body made him feel on fire. It wasn’t because he could hear the low, filthy voice in his ear telling him to just go ahead and co—

“Kuro—” Kei whispered as his toes curled and pleasure shot through his body. His breaths come in heavy pants as his chest heaved. He blinked, looking down at his hand. The evidence of his action was in his palm, stark and white and so very 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨.

But it had indeed happened and Kei was definitely in much deeper than he thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> added a few more chapters bcs i love pain
> 
> im kidding
> 
> slight

Kei shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have, not when Kuroo looked at him the next day, lazy eyes shining with a little mischief, as if he somehow knew what he did.

Kei felt dirty. What he did was wrong, he shouldn't have, should _never_ —

“You look like you've seen a ghost.” Kuroo's voice sounded much nearer, and he is, for when Kei looked up his face were only a few inches away.

If his face paled moments ago, Kei prayed to the gods his cheeks do not betray him now and light up in bright red. “You sure do look like one.”

Kuroo chuckled, shaking his head as he started to walk alongside him. Banter was good. Banter is always good, it made the atmosphere between Kuroo and him much lighter. Kei shrugged off thoughts of his indecency and focused his eyes ahead, listening to Kuroo as he hummed.

They walked a few steps more. It was lunch. Kei was guessing they were going to cut classes again.

Before he could ask where they were going, Kuroo asked, “Have you ever been in love?”

The shudder that ran through Kei's body was unmistakable. _Anticipation. Hope. Longing._

“Because I think I am.” When those words tumbled off Kuroo's lips, Kei doesn't turn to look.

He doesn't turn, because if he does, his resolution might crumble then and he might just scream _'I am in love with you'_ right back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come scream about hq w me on twt!! @snagglethot


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for mentions of homophobia
> 
> also im sorry in advance, we all love our bois but i love pain more
> 
> im kidding

Kuroo doesn't bring up the question again after a few days.

It has bothered Kei, really. Why did Kuroo bring it all up all of the sudden? Is he in love with someone? Is that someone—

Kei fought off the blush. Hoping is dangerous. He should never let himself hope.

_(He does, anyway)._

The air was chilly as they head off to Kei's dorm. It was their same routine of Kuroo walking him home again. The silence was comfortable, and sometimes Kuroo filled the silence with mindless chatter. It would be a lie if Kei said he wasn't looking forward to this time of day, where Kuroo's presence is enough to make his day.

They were only a few steps away when Kuroo asked, “Are you in love with someone?”

 _Thump_. Kei schooled his features into neutral as he gave a casual shrug, nodding as answer.

Kuroo stopped walking. He turned towards Kei, hands in his pockets. “Oh? And who is this lucky girl?”

 _Girl?_ Kei halted in his track as well, his throat suddenly dry. “Girl?”

Kuroo looked at him as if he had said something weird. “Uh, well? I mean, wouldn't it be weird if you were in love with a boy? That's kind of... disgusting.”

_Weird. Disgusting._

“What would others say? That's not normal, right? Two boys being together.”

_Not normal._

The previous pounding in Kei's chest turned into something harsh yet powerful, and unlike before, where it pounded out of anticipation, his heart hammered remorse right through his chest.

Kei was thankful for his talent. He looked at Kuroo as if his heart wasn't breaking, smiled as if his heart wasn't grieving, and chuckled as if his world wasn't ending. “You're right. Well, I can say she's... everything you can ask for.”

Kei never lied to Kuroo. Not until now, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry to use u as a plot device my lord and savior kuroo tetsurou,,, i know ur a better man than this but yOLO


	10. Chapter 10

When Kuroo laughed and shrugged it off as if it was nothing, Kei could hear a thread snap in the back of his head.

_Weird. Disgusting. Not normal._

**_Not normal._ **

Kei thought he could handle it. He's a master of supressing his feelings, after all. surely he would not—

Kei choked, flower petals falling into his hands. _No, no, this can't be happening_ — Blood puddled up, followed by more coughing. His hands stain crimson as he attempted to catch the petals and blood. _Please, not in front of him._

_Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting._

Red dribbled down the boy's chin and flowers broke through the skin on his pale neck. 𝘕𝘰. Vines and flowers continue to grow in his lungs, causing his disease to only worsen. 

_Have I gone mad?_

Kei started to break down. He cried. The pale boy's thoughts were again interrupted as he hacked up more flowers. His chest started to feel hollow.

He looked down at his hand. Despite the blood on them, he can tell they're yellow carnations.

Yellow carnations... _longing?_ They say when you suffer from Hanahaki, you cough up the flowers your subject of affection likes.

Who was Kuroo longing for?

Kei can only laugh bitterly, more blood sputtering out of his mouth. He can feel himself slowly lose consciousness, the sight of Kuroo hunching over him—were those tears?—was the last thing he remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> press f in the chat bcs sad tsukki makes me sadder
> 
> also i dont know if it's really a thing about hanahaki where u cough up the flowers of the person u like,, well as the memes say 'it's free estate', also the flowers i will short from then on have meanings yeeeey


	11. Chapter 11

When Kei woke up to the sound of a continuous cough, he immediately looked down at himself to see if whether it was him doing it, and how bad the bleeding has gone.

Instead, what greeted his vision was the sight of himself dressed in fresh clothes, covered by a blanket, and laid down comfortably on a bed. Not _his_ bed, though. And it was definitely not his clothes.

His ears perked up at the sound of coughing again, and slowly gathered his wits to come about and get up on his two feet to follow the sound. As he walked through a room that was not his as well, or anyone he knew, he can hear the distinct sound of water flowing. _Bathroom._

The room was small, probably a solo studio, so it wasn't that hard to find where the source of sound was. He rounded a corner and immediately stumbled upon the bathroom with its door ajar, the light on yet flickering, and broad shoulders covering the doorway.

_Kuroo._

Kei felt his throat itch but decided to ignore it. He took a few more steps, and by the time he was close enough to make out the little details that made up Kuroo, his eyes widen at the sight of blood dripping down the elder's chin.

“K-Kuroo-san?” He heard himself ask, the words coming out as a grumble resulting from the dryness of his throat.

When Kuroo faced him, Kei could see the stark redness of the blood from his lips and the yellow petals that stand out from the sea of red.

If Kei's was carnation, Kuroo's was chrysanthemum. Kei could only wonder why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gaSSSSPPPPSS???? omg??? plot twist???
> 
> im kidding it's not that good LMAO


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to mention in the previous chapter, yellow chrysanthemum symbolizes 'slighted love'. to "slight" something means to treat it as if it were not important. so "slighted love" is love that is not taken seriously, or is taken for granted
> 
> so if we look back to it, the flowers you cough symbolizes what your subject of affections feels. in the premise of this story, anyway.
> 
> btw this fic is drawing to a close (i changed the number of chapters bcs yolo) and im ihsidhasiddsh slightly emotional?? this is sorta my first fic for the hq fandom and im glad it's decent enough thANK U SO MUCH FOR THE KUDOS

Kei hated how ready he was to disregard his own feelings just to check up on Kuroo.

He sat Kuroo down, grabbing things he needed to clean Kuroo up, and probably did the same thing Kuroo did to him when he was unconscious. Except that Kuroo was still conscious, and that is _slightly_ more awkward. Kei dabbed on his chin with the cloth lightly, keeping a safe distance as much as possible.

“You look like you'll die if you get a touch of me.” Kuroo, observant as ever, grinned despite the dried blood beside his lips, making his usual cheeky grin look more weary than intended.

Kei only sighed as he closed the distance, their arms skin to skin, as he continued to wipe away the mess staining Kuroo's face. “ _You_ look like you'll die if _I_ touch you.”

Kuroo snorted, leaving that as the last sound he gives as Kei finished with the cleaning and tossed him a fresh change of clothes.

With the both of them clean and no longer coughing, the silence wrapped around them like arms that were either trying to keep themselves together, or squeeze the air out of their lungs. Both of them stare at the wall opposite them, the tension in the air so thick, itching Kei to cut it.

He decided to take the bullet and spoke. “So, you're suffering too.”

The look that Kuroo gave him was vague enough to be confusing, but showed the pain behind the glimmer of his eyes. “I could say the same to you.”

Kei shrugged, wandering his eyes over the spot above Kuroo in his attempt to hide what he really felt. There was a prickling behind his eyelids. “Do you really think it's disgusting to fall in love with a boy?”

It took minutes for Kuroo to answer. Several minutes, rather. Kei was about to drop the topic when he does talk. “It's what society thinks, isn't it?”

Kei turned his eyes back at him and saw the genuine pain and confusion swimming in his irises. “But what about you? What do _you_ think?”

This time, Kuroo met his eyes as he answered. “Well, I'm in love with one. What do you think?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what ship should i write next?? still kurotsuki?? or kagehina?? or iwaoi?? or karasuno vice principal x wig???
> 
> hA HA. golden. peak comedy everyone


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if u noticed but i changed the number of chapters from 15 to 13?? now it's back to 15 bcs im indecisive lOLOL

“I'm in love with one too.” Kei finally admitted.

No words follow right after that, but the silence wasn't as stifling as before. Both of them sat at the couch, a few inches apart, listening to each other's breaths and the steady hum of the heater in the background. Kei doesn't expect it when Kuroo offered his arm open, but accepted the invitation nonetheless and laid his head on his shoulder, scooting closer. 

Kei didn't know what this meant. But he didn't need words. Not right now, at least. Kuroo's warmth was more than enough. After all, it pretty much said a lot of things when both of them bled in front of each other.

It was deep into the night when Kei realized that he had fallen asleep on Kuroo. Kuroo offered him to stay the night, but Kei needed some time for himself. Some time to think and breathe and just comprehend the flow of the situation.

When Kei reached his dorm, a little bit past midnight, he didn't expect Yamaguchi to have waited for him with his arms crossed, settled comfortably on the couch. As soon as their eyes met, Yamaguchi nodded like he understood, and immediately stood up to envelop him into a comforting hug.

Maybe it was because he had cried enough, so his eyes didn't well up in tears. He just heaved out a deep sigh, the sound resonating through his hollow chest as he let Yamaguchi lead him onto his bed and wrap him up in a warm blanket.

“I'll listen if you want to talk. But if you want to sleep, we could leave it for tomorrow.” Yamaguchi said with his infamous gentle voice, which meant he would be persistent about the topic and would never let it go.

Seeing as he had slept a good amount back at Kuroo's place, Kei saw no reason to spill it to Yamaguchi right now.

He told him about how it all started, the summer training camp in their first year, and how a stupid crush blossomed into something so much more just by Kuroo being Kuroo. How Kuroo had broken him only a mere hours ago. How Kuroo built him up just as fast right after.

Yamaguchi wasn't surprised, as if he already knew. Maybe he did.

Kei was surprised, however. Usually, he'd cough up a petal or two by now. He doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hMMMMmMmMmM what could it mean?? stay tuned folks-- and thank you for the kudos so far!!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so remember how i mentioned i've taken the concept of hanahaki like the 'it's free estate' meme
> 
> well i added something hEHEHE i'll explain later for now enjoy reading!!

A week passed by. Then another. Kei's surprise turned into suspicion as more days passed by.

He doesn't know what to be more suspicious of, though: Not seeing Kuroo around _or_ not coughing a single petal. Probably both. Kei has a nagging feeling that the two variables were connected.

His suspicion was confirmed when Akaashi and Bokuto approached him the next day. The usual vibrant air around Bokuto went stale, whatnot with the downturn of his lips, and Akaashi's eyes were more piercing the usual. Kei easily picked on the atmosphere. _Something was indeed wrong._

“Tsukishima, Kuroo needs your help.” Akaashi was not one to beat around the bush, so Kei nodded and wasted no time.

With the directions Akaashi told him, he finally cornered Kuroo at the chemistry lab. He approached the elder with caution, it has been weeks after they had last seen each other after all, and cleared his throat when he deemed himself close enough to be heard.

“Kuroo-san,” Kei tried to keep his voice firm, but it wavered, “why are you avoiding me?”

When Kuroo turned around, Kei was surely not prepared with what he was about to witness.

Kuroo was a man of playful grins, poised stance, and has an aura of confidence electrified with energy. If he hadn't known him for so long, Kei wouldn't recognize the man in front of him. Kuroo's eyes were puffy and red, the bags underneath far darker than what should be normal. His cheeks seemed hollowed, clearly from losing a lot of weight. A sad smile painted his chapped lips, only breaking Kei's heart more. Kuroo now looked as if he was a desolate shell of his past self.

And then Kei saw it. Kuroo had his palms up, a small puddle of blood within them, holding up two flowers.

_Carnation and chrysanthemum._

Kei gasped, and there was no stopping the tears from flowing right now. Not minding getting blood all over his shirt, he pulled up Kuroo into a crushing hug. He doesn't know what the hug was for; to keep Kuroo standing or to keep himself together. His cries turned into howls, tightening his grip around Kuroo as if he would disappear if Kei didn't hold on tight enough.

“You idiot. You stupid, stupid idiot.” Kei grumbled, his throat tight and his voice scratchy. “I'm here now, Tetsurou. We'll fix this together.”

Kei's mind was reeling so hard he doesn't even notice the quiet sobs Kuroo shared as he clung onto Kei's shirt like it was his life line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anD THAT'S A WRAP. i'm kidding there's still one last chapter lmao
> 
> anyways, so u've read how kuroo has two flowers instead of one,,, suSPICIOUS,,, and how the other one was kei's previous flower,,, mORE SUSPICIOUS,,,, and how kei has stopped coughing flowers already,,,, mOST SUSPICIOUS
> 
> so in the premise of this story, a hanahaki infected person /can/ own the pain of the subject of their affection and suffer for them both. which, of course, would be a lot more painful and can lead to earlier death
> 
> we're lucky we have bokuaka to the resCUE YEHEEEEY (actually i just added bokuaka bcs what is a kurotsuki fic w/o bokuaka)
> 
> that's it let's go for one more ride and we'll wrap it up folks!! thank u for the kudos, really, it makes me happy, and the comments so far!! it's so lovely to hear ur thoughts, it actually made my writing have more purpose for it. thank u so much!!!l


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mentioned too many plants in this fic it looks like ushiwaka wrote it
> 
> maybe he did
> 
> (ship ushijima and tendou for good health and a healthy garden)

Kei woke up with the sight of flowers right in front of his face.

Shocked, he jolted right up into a sitting position, breaking into a cold sweat. Surely, this was a dream, right? _Fucking flowers, not again_ —

“Good morning, Tsukki!” comes in an exuberant voice, from the one and only person Kei could think of. He glared at the figure of said man, his vision still adjusting from the sudden wake and the massive stream of daylight into his room. “Oh? Why do you look so pissed off already? I haven't even done anything yet!”

Vision finally adjusted, Kei gave the elder an unamused look. “You woke me up with flowers right in my face, Tetsu.” He blushed a little at the way Kuroo's given name sounded rolling off his tongue. Kuroo gave him a teasing grin in return.

“What's wrong with it?” Kuroo waved said flowers right at his face again. Kei looked at it and realized what it was. _Carnations_.

“Carnations?” He asked wearily.

Kuroo blinked, as if not understanding the situation, and then chuckled. “ _Red_ carnations. You know what this mean? You seem to know a lot about flowers, Kei.”

Kei noticed the use of his given name, probably in retaliation for using Kuroo's as well. Kei would be lying if he said he didn't like it. “Akiteru-nii's girlfriend is a florist.” Kei simply answered, sifting his brain for what the red carnations symbolizes. When he remembered, his blush darkened a deeper shade of red. “Love...?”

Kuroo smiled affectionately, reaching over to cup Kei's cheek with his free hand. “ _Deep_ love and affection. I know my flower symbolism too!”

Kei rolled his eyes out of fondness and amusement, taking the flowers and Kuroo's hand as well. He gave the elder's hand a soft squeeze, still unbelieving that this man right here was giving him flowers in a different way this time—out of love, and not pain.

He felt soft lips being pressed on his forehead, looking up to see Kuroo's ever brilliant smile. Kei's happy to see that Kuroo's back to being lively and robust, finally regaining the colors back in his face after weeks of slowly picking both of themselves up and fixing each other. If someone were to ask whether the pain Hanahaki brought him was worth it, he would say yes. And it wouldn't matter if Kuroo either loved him back or not. Loving Kuroo as simply as it is was enough for Kei already.

“Shall I give you a cactus, then?” Kei deadpanned, wrapping an arm around Kuroo's shoulder and pulling him into the bed with him.

Kuroo laughed softly, tucking Kei's hair behind his ear as he raised an eyebrow. “Because you find me prickly and it's basically a 'fuck you' plant?”

“I see we need to work with your plant symbolism.” Kei snorted, keeping his eyes locked in the golden irises of Kuroo. “Cactus is a plant that can stand up to the test of time and the elements. Which, well, we surely did power through the rough time we had.”

Kuroo stopped laughing, but humor still danced behind his eyes. He leaned his forehead against Kei's, meeting his gaze. “We surely did, Kei.” A peck on his cheek. “We surely did.”

All of the pain from the past seemed to have evaporated when Kuroo's chapped lips met his. The kiss was soft, gentle, and passionate. His world didn't stop, nor did angels sang in the background. But it was more than anything Kei could imagine of, and it was a silent declaration.

_Deep love and affection._

Kei had no vices and bad habits. Emphasis on _had_. Kei, apparently, was addicted with Kuroo now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and this is the last yee to the haw!!! im partly sad and happy that this fic finished,,, usually when i write i abandon it and leave it unfinished but then people were actually reading this so it would be horrible of me not to finish what i started right?? (winks at all the unfinished kagehina and iwaoi fics i've read)
> 
> hopefully, this will not be my last fic i write for this fandom and will write more for the future!! i got on late with the hq fandom but let me tell u how much i LOVE this show. really. and the boys (and gals) of course!!! cries. i hope u enjoyed this ending!! was gonna end this sad but sad backwards is das, and das not good

**Author's Note:**

> kudos are always appreciated. enjoy! let's be friends on twt! @snagglethot


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